Sunny flowers for not such a sunny day
June 12th
A strange title you think, never would have put those two words in the same sentence you might say but having cancer has made me realise something about me being dyslexic.
As a kid growing up in the 70’s-80’s and being dyslexic was hard. It was a relatively new word and not that much research had been done into dyslexia then but my Mum knew something was up with my two brothers and I and found the best people out there at the time to assess us. We were all found to be dyslexic and the most lovely lady was found, Mrs Target, to help us learn in a way we could understand and remember. (I still to this day have 2 books from those lessons which I treasure). As I grew up the things at school that were hard were spelling, reading and reading out loud. Easy for other kids but hell for me. I don’t think I ever finished a book we read in school, always avoided eye contact with teachers when they were looking for people to read out loud in class and as for spelling, that was a whole other story.
Spelling – When you are dysleic and can’t spell a dictionary is pretty much useless, (when asking my Dad how to spell a word he would often say “look it up!” only to be reminded I didn’t know where to start). This meant that when writing any essay, letter, notes in class, a report, well anything written I was unable to use many a word I would like to as I couldn’t spell it. This meant all my essays had small, easy to write, rather childish words in them which at least I knew were spelled right. What this meant was I was never going to get great grades at school (but with a lot of hard work I did pass all but one of my O levels). Since then I have avoided writing as much as possible in my life. I was / am always very aware if people are looking over my shoulder when I write as I have had so many people laugh at how I have spelt things over the years, even now I am self conscious of writing in front of people.
BUT with the invention of spell check and voice activated spelling, a life of writing has taken on a new feeling. Now that’s were the title of this blog comes in. Without cancer I would not have written a blog therefore not known I was able to write the way I can. I don’t feel so dyslexic anymore. By writing this blog I have been able to truly express myself as spell check does the most amazing job of figuring out what the hell I am trying to spell. When I throw a really bad curve ball at her I use the voice activated dictation icon on my phone, talk a word into it and like magic it pops up on the screen. (I love it, if only I had this at 16). Now with this blog I have had so many amazing comments about my writing which all comes as such a lovely surprise as I have never thought of myself as someone who could write and was very scared to do so. I have to thank my little iPad and wireless keyboard who are making this possible.
The conclusion is with all the comments about my writing I feel more confident to continue. Thank you.
PS If you missed it Nick’s good mate, Dave is going to shave his rather large, unruly beard off on the 26th for two cancer charities, one of which I have chosen. If he reaches £1000 he will dye it pink until shave day. We are almost there. The link is below if you are interested. Thanks to all of you have already donated. Xxxxxx
Glorious Day 
you are wonderful ❤️
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Omg 😮Love!! I have a tear running down my cheek. Yes – this blog is beautifully written, and seems to get better with every post. I’d guessed you must’ve had some sort of tech assistance with writing this. But no amount of tech assistance can craft sentences and convey meaning the way you do. So I’d say it’s 95% Toria and 5% tech. Don’t give the tech all the credit!! Although yeah, I get it, the tech helps you use the wide vocabulary that you already have inside your brilliant head.
I remember, really well, the day I learned about dyslexia. It was in your kitchen (probably over burnt toast) and your gorgeous Mum sat me down with you to explain. Your mum must’ve said a thousand times “it has nothing to do with intelligence” but I knew that already!! I don’t remember how old we were, but from that day to this, I’ve had a really good understanding of how people’s brains work, or don’t work, when it comes to literacy, and that it has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.
My Tim has a literacy problem. Similar to, but not the same as, dyslexia. It’s called visual motor perception. Which, as the educational psychologist said, is rather like the computer being brilliant, but the printer broken. He just finds it almost impossible to write.
But unlike the 80s, he has a lot of support at school. He gets to type his exams and tests, and is given extra time. And he has learning support sessions every week, to help him with organisation.
I think this blog is awesome. And I can read in each post that your confidence is growing. And I’m an English teacher, so I know what I’m talking about 😊😊😊😊
Lots of love 💕
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Thanks my old mate. I wish I remember that conversation with Mum, sounds like a good one. I will discuss it with her tomorrow. Sending lots of love from a flushing Toria!! Xxx
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I too have been thinking how wonderfully expressive you have been from the word go. Brilliant.keep on doing just what you have been doing & continue to tell your family how wonderful they are. All love 💐🌷🌹🥀🌺
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You cant change the fact that you have cancer but the positive change that has come from this in your writing confidence is benefiting me and all your followers so THANK YOU for sharing. I look forward to seeing your ‘Glorious Day’ posts in my inbox.
PS lovely to see you yesterday xxx
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Toria – I have piles of the most beautiful letters from you – when you were in Carnbourne , I was In Manchester/ Paris I would look forward to your letters – i always thought the spelling always seemed very sensible – if not conventional- love you x
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