I just had to say “FUCK”

June 28th.

I have written this blog in my head a million times and each time it was different.  This is the blog I did not want to write.

The results from the Oncotype test came back from America on Monday and on Tuesday we went to meet with Dr Raga, to be told that, of course my result was in the questionable range. What this means is taking advise from her , Dr Raja, and opinions from others in her field the decision has been made that I will be having Chemo.  I am only 51 and I do not want to go through my life worrying about the ” what if’s” if I didn’t do it.

I was angry, cross and obviously upset on Tuesday but now having digested the news am ready to fight another battle and Kick it’s arse.  I have to have four bouts over 3 months and until I begin don’t know how I will react and what the side effect will be.

All I can say is I am going to deal with it and don’t really want to discuss it until it starts and I know more.  I will keep you posted here.

Photos of animals and children always make people smile so here is one of Hope and Millie.  To lift the mood.

On a lighter note, I have had 3 other appointments this week, the first one was with Becky my Physio who was pleased with my movements/ progress, which means I can begin to do more things without thinking about it.  So much so that at the weekend, with the help of my friend Ash, made a mammoth 21st birthday cake for a friends daughter that went down a storm.  And this was it.  It was such fun making.

Saw the Plastic surgeon and yes,  I was inflated.  Sounds like balloons but it is only my boobs.  If anyone is interested he put 30 ml into each side as a starter by placing a needle in to the ports and injecting saline in.  Weird eh?   I will see how that goes, give it a few weeks and then go back and see him again. It’s quite strange how I get to choose how big or small I go.  One more week of the “over shoulder boulder holder” and then these babies are free to roam and I can wear whatever I want without fear of people seeing this monster of a bra that in this weather is quite hard to hide in summer clothes.

Today’s appointment was a Baseline CT scan.  Very uneventful apart from using my foot again for the cannula.  It really does not hurt much more than a normal injection just takes longer to find a vine.  I was out in no time.

Only thing now is to work on the hot flushes now.  The sage and chill pillows help but nothing seems to stop them.  Conquer that and l would be peachy!!!