Last Week Chemo Free

Another  Glorious Day on Hampstead Heath

July 5th

I have been trying to write this blog for three days and have not finished it yet.  So much going on no time to sit quietly on my own and type, but here I am now so fingers crossed I don’t get disturbed.

So here goes what I have been up to this week.

Tuesday’s appointments were as follows, number 1 signing the consent form so I am now officially having Chemo. Once that was done I headed to see my GP for appointment number 2, I have a regular monthly appointment with her to check on how I am doing, feeling and if I have any questions. She gave me two prescriptions, hurray! One to help stop the hot flushes/sweats, yup still have them and they are dreadful, waking me every two hours in the night keeping me awake for far too long and the second prescription was for sleeping pills. I need some sleep, it’s getting beyond a joke.  Never taken a sleeping pill in my life before so that’s a new one on me. Final appointment of the day was to see Helen my Acupuncturist. I thought I would give Acupuncture ago to see if it will help.  You know what, I think it did.  I had the best nights sleep in ages.  Yes I still woke with a flush but only briefly and I think I got a solid 4 hours sleep without a flush.  I can see light at the end of the tunnel for the first time.

Wednesday’s appointments, I had an Echo-cardiogram so the hospital have a record of what my heart looks like pre-Chemo.  It was all ticketyboo.  It was like having  an ultrasound when you are pregnant but around my left boob not on my tummy.  All it did to me it was proved I am still alive!   This was followed by lunch with Hope as she came along to the appointment.  She headed home and off I went to appointment number 2.  My pre-treatment assessment at the Unit that will be doing the Chemo.  As I sat in the waiting room the realisation that this is really going to happen sank in.  A wee bit scary for a short while but then the Shit Happens kicked in and I was over it.  For the hundredth time I was talked though the drugs, how happens, what to expect, the what ifs and what to dos and finally shown around the place so I know what to expect on Tuesday morning. The whole procedure is going to take 4 to 5 hours so I might as well get used to it and know it.  As will all of you as I will have plenty of time to blog and include photos of me having treatment……

Today waking up it was great to know that I can now have the rest of the week and the week end to relax, get some jobs done and get prepared for Chemo.  How am I feeling about Chemo?  That is a tricky one.  Fine on the whole.  Nick and I have discussed it a lot and as we have said all along shit happens and you deal with it.  Yes I was upset and bloody cross when I found out last week but once I had absorbed the info and come to terms with it I just want to get started.  That is why I have had all these appointments this week. I am going to give the cold cap a go; basically if you don’t know what it is it’s a cap they put on your head while having the chemo and it freezes your head.  The idea is that it stops the chemo getting to the hair follicles and stopping the hair falling out.  If I don’t like it/ can’t get on with it the plan is to have my hair cut really short next week so when it does fall out it is not such a shocker. (That’s the advise from my GP, I trust her 100% on this one).

I am going to put this out there as I have not discussed this before.  I think if I do lose my hair and  it will be all of it, I might find that a head fuck!  (Sorry for the language, those who will be pulling a disapproving face right now)  But Hope assures me she will draw on nice eyebrows and will enjoy putting fake lashes on.  God help me, I might look like a drag queen or worse still someone from Love Island!!!!  I guess it’s all good practice for her before going to uni and doing her course.  You never expect to see yourself bald as a woman and as hard as you try when hair is wet it’s just doesn’t look like you’re bald.  The big up side is wigs.  I love a wig or a hat and have plenty of scarves so I will become a north London tribal warrior with a new headdress everyday, Bring it on!