Secretly I’m hoping chemo will give me superpowers.

July 13th.  3 Months to the day I found my lump.

It’s been quite a week.  I have tried to write a blog twice but my pesky iPad kept playing up so I am going to write the week up now in picture form…..

Monday, 9 am

Had to be at Princess Grace Hospital to have a Portacath put in. A Portacath is a small divice placed under the skin with a tube placed in a blood vessel so the drugs go straight into th blood.  This is so that I don’t have to have a cannula placed in my foot every time I have Chemo.  Dad dropped Mum and I off.  I hadn’t really thought about what the procedure would be but quickly once I noticed hospital gown, socks, stocking etc on the bed this was going to be a full on job.

Theatre ready!  All went very smoothly, although I was only sedated managed to sleep though the whole thing only to wake up. In recovery with a nice male nurse siting next to me.  God knows what I was wittering on about this time.  When I looked down this is what I saw,

Two bandages, the large one with a needle still in it and a thing hanging out of me. Interesting…..  Two hours later I was at home resting.  Thank was Monday over with.

Tuesday,  had to be at the Princess Grace Hospital for 11 so met Ash and Danny at 7am on Hampstead Heath for a fabulous walk, even managed a quick coffee while we were there.

This is 10am outside the Weelington Hospital about to go in for my first Chemo.  I was feeling so fit,well and happy.  Here’s me holding my Hospital bag given to me by Trash.  Filled with magazines, sweets, well to be more acuate gin and tonic gummy sweets!  A croissant, a packet of biscuits and crisps.  everything I might possibly need.  As soon as I entered it all began to happen but I did manage to eat my breakfast while they were flushing the dingly dangly thing out.

This really was the calm before the storm, after this photo the torture machine was placed on my head.

Here it is me being rigged up to the Cold Cap Mashine.  They start by wetting your hair before placing a thick rubber cap on your head followed by strap and so on.  Finally you are plugged in and the freezing of your brain begins.  Do I really need any of my few brain cells frozen like this??  All the while Nick was chuckling……  It really was torture and after an hour and a half at least and many tears, ( I’m not the sort of person who cries much) I gave up.  I couldn’t do it any longer, having nails driven into the side of my head for that long was toooooo much.  When they finally turned the machine off I wanted to rip the cap off but I was told I had to wait for 10 mins for it to de frost. What am I a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream that needs to soften?  I must admit once it was off and I was warming up I knew I had done the right thing.  It’s only hair and it will grow back in 3 months. Lets embarrass the bald world for a while.  There are many of you out there and I’m coming to join you!!

One comment on the family watts app group that did make me chuckle but not enough to continue with the cold cap, was from William my nephew “ Only legends wear scull caps”

Once the chemo was over lunch at the ivy cafe in St John’s Wood, with Nick and Hope, if i’m going to feel shit let’s have a nice last lunch! Then headed straight to Dobney hairdressers in Highgate to have my hair cut. I thought I better get used to this no hair melarky so chop chop chop it went!

Ta da! Me and my new haircut. Takes a while to get used to it but i’m almost there now. That brings us almost to the end on Tuesday.  So much has happened in two days. That night while nick and Hope were next door having dinner I had a wee wobble, nausea kicked in, and I hate hate  hate that feeling. Not wanting to disturb them over dinner my friend Ash popped over cut me up some fruit and kept me company, then Giles called and joined the nursing staff, making me fresh ginger tea. I suddenly felt a lot better and realised with friends around I am going to be able to get through this.  It is going to be tough, horrid, emotional but that’s life.

Let’s move onto the rest of the week,  Wednesday, after having a better nights sleep than I was led to believe I would by he hospital staff Wednesday  was spent with Hope casually wondering up to Selfridges to try and find a wig for me to wear. Always like to be ready for every occasion. We found one, had lunch did some window shopping then came home. Rest time.

I walked Thursday morning as felt up to it but  then hit a wall while having a tea at kenwood so then came home and went to bed for the day. I mustn’t fight this I know, not like me to listen to my body, but I did and slept a lot. Similar Day on Thursday but no dog walk for me  rest and sleep. Friday followed a sililar pattern, some visitors which is alway lovely but now I have finished the 3 days of steroids which have been helping with the nausea and tiredness god knows what the week end will hold. Only time will tell.

I would like to take this chance to  Thank everybody who has sent cards, gifts, words of support, food, been to visit, read the blog or just send some love our way, it is all completely and utterly appreciated and without you all this would be a hell of a time. I’m sure it’s going to get worse before  better but there will be one hell of a party at the end of it. Mark my words.

Just wanted to finish on a happy photo, posy from my friend Giles, can never go wrong with mad colour  💕💕💕