It’s cooled down and my energy is rising!

August 8th.  Day 8 after Chemo.

Today I feel like I am beginning to come out of the fog of Chemo tiredness.  Poor Nick has had to listen to me constantly trying to describe how I feel and with not much luck really.  

The first few days aren’t to bad as you have the steroid high keeping you going but then they stop and so does the body.  The tiredness is like nothing I have ever experienced before. It’s a combination of feeling like you have a constant mild hangover where your head can’t quite focus 100%, you start something but never finish it.  Then there is the body tiredness in which doing anythigh is such an effort.  It’s like wearing lead boots while carrying a sac of potato’s on your shoulders at the same time.  You know that feeling when your phone battery is saying it’s only got 5% battery left and you need to make a call and worried it wont last the call.  That’s how it feels, I want to go do something and then all of a sudden the battery dies and i’m left motionless not being able to move. Walking the few steps to the bathroom is sometimes a nesesssity but the biggest triumph.  My shoulders are low, I’m out of breath and I’m shattered.  What the hell are these drugs doing to me?  (I can’t help but think that the heat isn’t helping and that everyone is suffering also.)   

Now here is a thing i don’t understand, I am exhausted, find lying down on my bed in a darken room the easier thing to do but i still have a ravershing appetite and want to eat everything all the time.  Oh this chemo does weird things to the body and mind.  My taste buds this time are also playing up but yes that doesn’t even stop me wanting to eat everything although things don’t taste the most delicious!!  An example of the taste thing is water tastes odd, how can that be water doesn’t taste of anything but to me at the mo it’s not right and when you have to drink 3 litres a day it’s hard.

This time around I am not going to talk about the flushes and constipation as I went into it in detail last time and feel once is quite enough for everyone.  All I will say is here we go again!  

Today I have a physio appointment, it will be my 45th appointment since I found the lump on April 13th.  These doctors keep me busy!

I might not be going on holiday this year but The Glorious Day Badge is. Sunrise over Melbourne, Flowers in Hampshire and coffe in Costa Rica. It’s travelling well.  Thank you Peter, Lotty and Wendy.

Remember Badges available to anyone who wants one.

Feeling the love, Toria xxxxxxx